Not-So-Newlyweds

Hey!

Last weekend, my husband and I celebrated our one year anniversary!

He surprised me with a trip to Orlando, FL’s Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

Gringotts Bank Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Gringotts Bank
Wizarding World of Harry Potter

It was an awesome trip! I’m so happy to have gotten to marry such n exceptionally great guy!

One thing that does cross my mind was this: Are we still newlyweds?

Most people consider the “newlywed” phase to be just the first year. And, I guess if we were to get technical, things aren’t really new after a whole year.

Nevertheless, I don’t really feel like we are out of that stage of our marriage. We do have our goals established and we aren’t constantly having annoying, mushy conversations. But, I don’t feel like there have been any major changes in our relationship (other than the act of getting married) to differentiate between the “newly” part and the part where we are just “wed.”

I suppose that could be a sign that I made the right choice of men to make  my husband.

We don’t have to be sad that we’re past a certain stage that has been labeled onto us by the world. We just keep loving each other the same way we always have, only more deeply and irreversibly.

Also, I’m back. :)

Moving Forward

Quotes • Vision #Quotes -Steve Jobs

There is a new intern class at my company. This means that it’s been two years since my internship. That’s two years since I graduated from university. Two years since I got engaged. Two years that I’ve been with my first corporate company. Two years since I had to start growing up. Two years. 

Last year I had to train/ mentor one intern; this year I am mentoring two. This year I am married. This year I was promoted. This year I am motivated to follow my dreams that have been trying to pull me forward for the past two years. This year. 

I will move to the Pacific Northwest. I will find happiness in my career. I will remember to make time for myself (and my husband). I will be financially responsible. 

No pressure– just purpose. 

 

23 Things to Do While You’re Married at 23

The article Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged When You’re 23 written on the Huffington post kind of made me angry. I’m 23, just got married, and am continuing to do things that make me happy. Something even better? I get to experience those things while being with the love of my life.

“It’s cold outside… you want to cuddle and talk about your feelings… life after graduation is a tough transition… so why not just cut to the chase and get married, right?”

Wrong.

If the thought process that leads you to getting married is that you’re cold, want to chit chat, and are in a transition period, you most definitely should not be getting married. If you are still finding yourself and don’t know yet what you want out of life, you might need to pump the breaks with the whole matrimony thing. However, if you, like me, have a grasp on the whole “how to live” thing, feel free to make those big decisions. It’s worth it.

“Because you owe it to yourself. You are a human being that deserves to thrive inside AND outside of a relationship.”

Very true. I’ve had some crazy experiences, gone through therapy, and found how to really work as a single unit. Something that just happens to make thriving personally even better is getting to thrive with my husband. It might make certain decisions harder (where to live, when to have kids, what to eat for dinner), but it also makes those decisions more rewarding. Also, if you find the right partner, you just might find that you agree on a lot of the choices that you both might have made separately. Go figure.

So, here is my list, in response to the list provided by that lovely Huffington Post writer. You might find that some of these items are the same. Wait, you can have a life while you’re married? That’s right folks. I might be going against the grain on this one, but I actually think you can have some cake, and then eat some, too.

23 Things to do While You’re Married at 23

1. Get a passport.
No idea why marriage would stop you from doing this. My husband didn’t even get his passport until we were about to go on our honeymoon. So, you’re welcome honey.

2. Find your “thing.”
If you don’t have a “thing” (which is very vague), you should! Whether it’s painting or shopping, find something you love to do, and can even do by yourself!

3. Don’t make out with a stranger.
That’s gross. Even if I happened to be single, I couldn’t want to swap fluids with someone I didn’t know. To suggest that someone should is a little weird.

4. Adopt a pet.
Totally! I’m all for pets, especially adopting one in need. If you want a pet, that is. And, if you want a pet, I’m sure the person you chose to be your life partner would also like one.

5. Listen to music.
Get a Spotify account and explore. Buy a record player and some awesome vinyls. Lose yourself in some music. Unless you don’t like music. Then no pressure (but seriously, who doesn’t love music?).

6. Make a cake.
Homemade cakes are awesome. You can chose whatever flavor you want, make it gluten free, or vegan! You can even share it with your significant other so that you don’t feel too gluttonous.

7. Get a tattoo.
If you want. I’m in favor of tattoos. I got my first one while I was dating my now husband. He’s gotten one since we’ve been married, and we’re planning some more. Our marriage is definitely permanent, so are the tattoos, and they aren’t mutually exclusive.

8. Explore a new culture.
Not necessarily a new religion. Some people don’t want to be all willy nilly with their faith. I do, however, suggest getting to know a new culture, even if it’s just through the internet. Cultures are fascinating!

9. Decide where you want your career path to lead.
If you don’t know by now, find out. I’ve had lots of professionally existential moments, but I always like having goals. And, if I’m passionate about my goals, by husband is supportive (re: marrying the right person)

10. Cut your hair.
Even just an inch. Dead Ends are gross. It’ll make you feel better. I don’t have to do this instead of getting married, though. I’m pretty sure they can both happen.

11. Stay monogamous
It’s more of a challenge than dating multiple people at once; far less dangerous and far more rewarding.

12. Build something with your hands.
I’m a fan of DIY projects. Whether by myself, with a gal pal, or my guy. It’s always great to get that feeling of accomplishment (or defeat.. Pinterest fails anyone?).

13. Accomplish a Pinterest project.
See #12. Finish one and succeed– it’s harder than you think!

14. Give back.
Money and time are both needed in organizations all over the world. Find something that speaks to you. Do what you can.

15. Stop worrying about disappointing your parents.
I love my parents to the moon and back. However, I can’t spend my whole life in constant fear of disappointing them. I definitely am not a fan of doing it on purpose, but sometimes it’ll happen. But now, I’m 23, I should worry about not disappointing myself.

16. Watch something on Netflix.
Even if it’s just for a month, using the free trial period, try it out. Lose yourself in a show, or watch a movie that you haven’t seen in years. Bonus: if it’s cold and you want to cuddle, you can totally do that with your partner.

17. Try a new recipe.
Instead of eating an entire jar of Nutella in one sitting (which sounds delicious but also sickening), find a recipe and cook.

18. Make a stranger happy.
Instead of making them uncomfortable for no apparent reason, do a pay-it-forward act one day. It feels good.

19. Stay active.
Committing yourself to one person doesn’t give you an excuse to let yourself go. I’ve slacked a little, we all will, but don’t make that a constant.

20. Hangout with friends.
Thriving by yourself is important, as is thriving in a marriage. It’s also important to keep friendships thriving as well. Don’t drop off the face of the earth after getting married. Instead, have friends that understand that you might occasionally drop off the face of the earth, but you’ll always come back.

21. Get your feelings out.
A public blog isn’t for everyone, but expressing your feelings is important. Do whatever works for you: therapy, journaling, blogging, getting a punching bag, etc.

22. Be selfish.
Not all of the time, obviously, but occasionally. Every once in a while you need to do what you want to do.

23. Live your life how you want to live it.
Sure, I don’t have the money to do everything I want, but I am pretty happy with where I am in life. I’m 23, married, gaining successful professional experiences, have a dog, travel occasionally, and get to sleep in most weekends. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you’re “tied down” or lame. It means you have declared your lifelong partnership with another human, which is really beautiful! If you’re not ready for it at 23, don’t do it! But, don’t judge other people for having different paths from your own.

I’m not the only married millennial who found error in the anti-marrying-at-23 article. Another Huffington Post author wrote a counter-article similar to this post. I know not everyone will agree with her list, my list, or any other complete list out there. My goal here was just to point out that marrying at 23 (or 22, 24, etc.) does not suck the youth out of a person and the adventure out of life.

My husband and I in London.

My husband and me in London.

Post Vacation Depression

 I really do enjoy blogging. I promise. 

The problem is that, lately, I have felt like that little round blob-fellow in the old Zoloft commercials. 

Zoloft Blob

Feeling like you just want to escape? Check. 
Can’t muster up the energy to do what usually makes you happy? Check.
Just want to sleep all day? Yup, check.

I think about blogging every day. But then, I think, “nah… maybe I’ll just try and get a little more sleep…”

I blame it on the honeymoon. 

I was planning on jumping back into the swing of things here after the wedding madness was over. But then, we went on an amazing honeymoon to London, England. The trip itself was awe-inspiring. It was wonderful getting to experience it all with my new husband. 

You’re probably thinking, “So… what’s the problem?”

The problem is that we came back. To real life. Work. Bills. Commuting. Not-being-in-London.

I’m eternally grateful that we got that experience, but I’ve been in a sort of lull ever since we’ve been back. 

So here it is; the first step– acceptance. I have a problem: Post Vacation Depression. 

It’s been a few months, I’m getting over it. I’m writing this instead of crawling into bed, right?!

Expect to see much, much more! Things are looking up!

Image

Hello there!

I’M BAAAAAAACK!

So, I’ve decided to end my wedding-leave and become active once more in the blog world. If you’ve ever planned or been a part of a wedding, you know that it becomes a full time job. Well, in addition to my actual full time job, I just did not have the time nor energy to make regular (or any) posts.

Just because I wasn’t posting doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about you guys. I have so much to discuss: I’m married now, had an amazing honeymoon, and it’s Q4, which is the busiest time of year in the business world (that’s the 4th quarter of the year—hello holidays!)!

So, be prepared, because  boy do I have all sorts of experiences to share with you!

In the meantime, here is a shot of my new husband and I leaving our reception!

zande

 

Young Professional Advice from Friends – Emma Warren

So honored to give some advice on this fabulous blog! Katie from Ask the Yo Pro is such a doll. I was more than excited to be able to take part in her fun series: Young Professional Advice from Friends.

Check out the post here:
Young Professional Advice from Friends – Emma Warren.

I know, I know…

I’ve been slacking in the blogosphere! But, here’s a surprise: the lack of posting has been on purpose!

While I am passionate about and love my blog, I have a lot of other things on my plate (hello, wedding!). I decided to postpone my awesome blog topics until after the honeymoon. I can’t to everything at once (that was a rough thing to realize)!

So, I might have a few posts between now and my days of matrimony, but they will be less consistent than I would like. 

To keep you all hanging in suspense, here are a few teasers for future posts:
DIY Stress
Guest blog post! I’ll let you all know when it’s out!
Realignment in the Office
My dog, the bobble head
The PTO myth
…and much, much more!

Keeping Youthful as a Young Professional

As I’ve mentioned, being a 20-something in the work place can be stressful. We want to prove ourselves worthy of being in the “real world.” One of the hardest parts of the transition into the professional world is leaving the “young” in “young professional.”

I’m an adult. I am in charge of my own finances, have a “real” career-type job, and am about to be married for goodness sake! But, I’m still young. I expect a lot of myself, but I’m not at an age where much is expected of me by the outside world. True, I like to succeed in my job. I also like to nap. But, I still like to go out for a drink with friends sometimes. I set all of my own doctor appointments and buy my own groceries. But sometimes I need a break from so many responsibilities. I recently rescheduled a doctor’s appointment so that I could go to a brewery tasting this weekend. That doesn’t seem very responsible, but I’m allowing myself those types of decisions every once in a while.

My point is, balance is important. I am, by no means, encouraging millennials to live recklessly. I do encourage them to be silly. The term “young professional” has two parts. I’m a fan of living both parts fully.

Contact Experience Required!

In addition to my personal social media outlets, I have also set some up for this blog!
Have any suggestions for posts, or questions about my experiences? Email me! My new email is contactexperiencerequired@gmail.com!

Want updates on you Twitter or Facebook? Now you can!

I apologize for all of the exclamation points– I’m excited. Can’t you tell? Let’s do this!